My Vipassana retreat - what 10 days of silent meditation taught me

Vipassana means “as is”. It means to see things as they really are. It is a meditation technique taught by Gautama Buddha 2500 years ago in India. The technique of Vipassana Meditation is taught at 10 day residential courses across the world, during which participants learn the basics of the method, and practice sufficiently to experience its beneficial results. The day starts at 4 AM and includes 10 hours 45 minutes of meditation and 1hour and 15 minutes of discourse every day.

When I registered for Vipassana, I felt it will not be tough for me. I embrace silence, love to meditate, I am always eager to experience a different form of meditation and for the most part, I am stress free and calm. Very soon, I would discover that Vipassana was the easiest and perhaps the toughest form of meditation I had undertaken. On Day 0, the rules were clearly laid out. No talking, no eye contact, no reading/ writing, no gadgets, no killing (glad we got that documented), no stealing, no food from outside or OTC medications, simple vegetarian meals cooked by them and no dinner (OUCH!), no sexual activity, no physical contact, and no fragrant products. Essentially, the idea is to master the 6 senses – the five senses and the mind. 

The first day was the toughest. While I have been meditating almost daily for several years, I had never meditated 10+ hours in a day. Further, I follow a different meditation practice so each time I would start meditating, I would naturally gravitate to the meditation that I was used to. The idea of practicing “anapana” or mindful breathing for such a long period of time was super challenging. Shah Rukh Khan and Kajol (both are famous Indian actors) traversed the landscape of my mind singing "Gerua" for the most part of the day. By the afternoon, I had created a game in my head. I challenged myself to take 100 breaths without getting distracted. Hitting a century was the goal. But there were moments that I could not even hit a boundary (cricket lovers will appreciate how inadequate that feels) i.e. could not even get beyond 4 or 6 breaths without getting distracted. Clearly, I struggled on day 1 but I took solace in the fact that I had proved that you can take an Indian out of India, but you can't take Bollywood and cricket out of an Indian. This was a super comforting thought. Anyway, I promised myself to get back on the crease a.k.a. my mat and sit with determination without changing my posture (called “adhitthana” in Pali, the original language of Gautama Buddha). The perseverance paid off. By the afternoon of Day 2, I had scored a century. While I had lost count after 25 breaths, I had a fabulous meditation session. Yay! I spent the next sit trying to figure out if I was Dhoni or Tendulkar (For those who are not tuned into cricket, these 2 are crickets legends).

Over the course of the next few days, I experienced all kinds of emotions. I smiled, I cried, I choked and I was overcome with elation. Each sit (meditation session) had it’s own high or low point, some sits were better than the others, but the days got progressively better and left me emotionally lighter and mentally rejuvenated. It is difficult to explain what I truly felt, but I have attempted to explain below what I benefitted from this retreat. However, I must add that my experience is indescribable, because words work only for things that have limits. 

Eating habits - The biggest challenge for me was the regimented food routine. Breakfast at 6:30, lunch at 11 AM and Tea with fruits at 5 PM. They do not serve dinner. Anyone who knows me, knows that I love my food (including the late night snacks) and especially my multiple cups of "chai" every day. Day 1 and 2 were tough when it came to food. I spent hours trying to understand my relationship with food. Those who know my family, know that my parents feed me, overfeed me and then some. This pattern of demonstrating love continues to this date :-) So, by the morning of Day 3, I had decided that I must have starved in a previous lifetime and attributed my desire to keep eating to that period and left it at that :-)  I felt at ease eating smaller meals and by Day 6, I was enjoying every bite I took, appreciated the “no added sugar” diet, and did not miss dinner at all. I came back home a few pounds lighter (let's hope it stays that way) and more mindful of every morsel I ate.

Let go & Let be – Having practiced different meditation techniques for several years and not seeing any incremental benefits by Day 3, I questioned my decision to sign up for this course. But thankfully, I had the wisdom to surrender to new beginnings and that each successive day would only deepen the level of self-awareness and acceptance. And it did. It slowed my mental clutter, it challenged me to “just be”, sit still and focus on my breath. Thoughts kept arriving especially on February 7th (Day 6 of the retreat) , when New England Patriots were playing in the Super Bowl, Tom Brady was front and center in my thoughts. I sent him good vibes and returned to my stillness. I was on a journey of self-purification by introspection. As Carl Rogers said, "The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change."

I am the master – The idea of sitting with determination without moving for one hour is daunting.   But when I experienced it multiple times a day for 10 days, I come to the realization that the need to scratch my back, and clear my throat was “anicca” (transient in Pali). Sensations come and go. How I react to it is in my control.

Equanimity – Emotional uneasiness including fear, sorrow and guilt, made it’s grand entry in my mind. And so did those beautiful memories that evoked feelings of love, affection, and happiness. But all of these emotions are also impermanent. Vipassana empowered me with that understanding, which resulted in stability and equanimity.

Bye Bye sensory overload - I realized how much noise I drown myself in. And as if the noise of my inner thoughts and the noise of my family was not enough, I choose to create more noise by embracing social media, news, and TV. The retreat left me with the insight that reducing the frequency and the decibel level of external noise helped me to go within.

Nature therapy works – Almost every day I walked for some time after lunch. Never before had I paid so much attention to the chirping of the birds, the various hues of green and brown, and the expanse of the sky. I started noticing the changing shape of clouds and enjoyed the warmth of the sun. And as a result, I felt a higher level of wellbeing. Nature's ability to heal is profound. 

The “Aha” moments –  I was cautioned by a well meaning friend that I will be bored out of my mind. On the contrary, 12 hours of meditation every day left my mind razor sharp. Day 4, 6, 8, and 9 were exceptionally fruitful. My imagination and creativity soared. Ideas sprouted in my brain in a short time. Among other things, I had a plan of convincing my husband to take a longer vacation on the destination of my choice. And just for the record, we are implementing that plan. Vipassana works :-) !!!! 

Sheer bliss – There were moments I felt so light, I felt I was levitating. There were moments when I felt my body had disintegrated and turned into unlimited energy. 120 hours of meditation/ discourse over 10 days gave me a natural high. When I experienced those moments, I wanted to grab them and cling to them, but that’s when I remembered the law of impermanence, “This too shall pass”. And just like that, while I know and have been practicing most of these life lessons, my insight deepened to a whole new level and I learned to experience the world with the lens of objectivity, equanimity and detachment. I continue to be a "work-in-progress" but Vipassana helped me to move forward. 

For more on Vipassana, visit https://www.dhamma.org/en-US/index

Declutter your mind - practical and soulful tips

We all suffer from mental chatter, the rush of words, the supersonic speed of thoughts, which lead to hastened reactions. This is precisely the time when we need to put our thought breaks on. Give yourself permission to stop for a moment,  and create some mental space by following these tips below. Just BREATHE…

1. Be present: Breathe deeply and be present in the moment. Do whatever it takes to clear your head and calm yourself – whether it is breathing exercises, meditation or staying in silence.
2. Rest: Sleep is imperative. It will sharpen your attention, improve your memory, improve your health, reduce stress and help your overall well being.
3. Exercise: Whether it’s a walk in the park, yoga or a sport you enjoy, get up and move your body. Let those endorphins release in your body, boost your immune system, take control of your health, and enjoy the positivity it brings along.
4. Attention on one thing – Stop multi-tasking. Embrace single-tasking. Adopt actionable goals. It will help you focus better, and it will boost your time management skills. Completing one task at a time builds your confidence, which will only help you to achieve success and will raise your happiness quotient.
5. Thankful – Remember the good times and and count your blessings. Maintain a gratitude journal. Very soon you will realize that you have much to be thankful for.
6. Have a to do list: Use an app/ tool to save your list. Save your appointments (and the reminders) on your calendar. Fewer ideas will slip away and you will tend to get a lot done. Finally, organizing and recording your tasks helps you to prioritize what is most important to you.
7. Eliminate the non-essentials: This can be a blog post in itself J but let’s list the most important - 

• The materialistic: Often we clutter our closets with unnecessary purchases or with products we don’t need anymore. Donate items you don’t need and organize your house.
• The thought: Waste thoughts and negative thoughts creep up in our minds and take up a lot of space. Let go of the worries, anxieties, fears and all that does not serve you. The past is over and fretting about the future does not help. Take ownership of your thoughts. You have the power to choose positive thoughts.
• Social media/ TV/ Phone: While there are many benefits to social media/ TV and the phone, we have become a culture where countless hours are spent on the same. External noise is inversely related to inner peace. So go ahead and put your phone away for a certain period everyday.  Find joy in the quiet.

What are you waiting for? It's time to detox your mind. 

Chakras

“Sky above, earth below, peace within.” - Unknown

According to the yogic system, within the physical body is a subtler body, which forms the subtle network through which “prana” or life force energy flows. This network is comprised of 72,000 “nadis” or meridians. Meridians are energy paths through which energy flows. There are one hundred and fourteen important junction points where these meridians meet. These are referred to as chakras, which mean wheel in Sanskrit. Therefore chakras are concentrated centers of energy or wheels of life. Out of these one hundred and fourteen chakras, seven are held as the main chakra points. The degree of Chakra and Meridian activity in a person’s body is dependent on the person’s physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health. If a chakra is blocked, it hampers the flow of energy through the meridians. Each chakra is associated with different body parts, emotions, and resonates with one of seven universal principles, which are survival, creativity, personality, love, expression, insight, and thought. Each chakra also relates to a certain color, a certain element, a certain seed sound, specific minerals, food, herbs etc. The seven main chakras, which align the spine, start from the base of the spine and go on through to the crown of the head. To visualize a chakra in the body, imagine a swirling wheel of energy where matter and consciousness meet. 

The first chakra (root) is located at the base of the spine and the seventh chakra (crown) is located on the top of your head. The other five chakras, namely, sacral, solar plexus, heart, throat, and third eye, are aligned in sequence along your spine, neck, and skull. Their function is to vitalize the physical body by feeding in positive energy and clearing negative energy by interaction with our body’s endocrine and lymphatic systems. Chakras are the interface between our physical, mental and emotional dimensions.

Design courtesy: http://www.twodotts.com

1. The first chakra, the Root Chakra, is associated with our basic animal instincts of survival and self-preservation.

Color: Red

Element:  earth

Location: base of spine, perineum

Associated body parts: coccyx, anus, large intestine, adrenal glands, back, legs, feet, bones

Basic issues:  safety, survival, shelter, nourishment, self-esteem, trust, boundaries, physical health

2. The second chakra, the Sacral Chakra, is the focal point of our emotions, sexuality, and creativity.

Color: orange

Element:  water

Location: lower abdomen, lower back,  and sexual organs

Associated body parts:  hips, lower back, sexual organs, bladder, kidneys, stomach, bodily fluids (tears, urine, blood, menstrual fluids)

Basic issues:  pleasure, sexuality, sensuality, emotions, intimacy, warmth, creativity, confidence

3. The third chakra, the Solar Plexus Chakra, is associated with identity and self-esteem.

Color: yellow

Element:  fire

Location: abdomen

Associated body parts:  stomach, liver, gallbladder, spleen, adrenal glands

Basic issues:  ego, self-esteem, vitality, forcefulness, perception, insight, will, discipline

4. The fourth chakra, the Heart Chakra, is located at the center of chest. 

Color: green

Element:  air

Location: center of the chest

Associated body parts:  heart, lungs, diaphragm, chest, thymus, circulatory system, shoulders, arms, hands

Basic issues:  love, compassion, kindness, relationships, self-acceptance, forgiveness, hope, sympathy, empathy

5. The fifth chakra, the Throat Chakra, is associated with sound and has to do with creative self-expression, speech and communication. 

Color: turquoise

Element:  ether

Location: throat, neck

Associated body parts:  throat, neck, ears, jaw, mouth, teeth, gums, tongue, thyroid gland

Basic issues:  communication, creativity, expression, humility, manifesting ideas

6. The sixth chakra, the Third Eye Chakra, is associated with sight and seeing, both intuitively and physically.  

Color: indigo

Element:  light

Location: between and above the eyes

Associated body parts:  eyes, brain, pituitary and pineal glands, lymphatic and endocrine systems

Basic issues:  clairvoyance, telepathy, wisdom, connection to the higher self, imagination, dreams, ideas, reasoning

7. The seventh chakra, the Crown Chakra, is known as the “thousand-petaled lotus”, the symbol of purity and spirituality.  

Color: white or violet

Element:  energy

Location: top of the head

Associated body parts:  center of the head, brain

Basic issues:  wisdom, intuitive knowing, spiritual development, humanitarianism, selflessness, connection to the Divine, universal higher consciousness

The chakras absorb energy generated from our thoughts, feelings and outside environment and relay this to our body. Our body is affected by the quality of the energy that passes through the chakras.  For instance, if we have negative feelings, we will be filtering negative energy through our chakras and into our body. Over time this can manifest as physical illness.

Chakras are like the power stations of our body, bringing it to life, and keeping it healthy.  Hence, balancing the energy flow in our chakras is valuable for maintaining optimal physical, emotional and mental health. 

Overcoming fear in children - A guide for parents

The famous Russian novelist, Fyodor Dostoyevsky, once wrote, "Taking a new step, uttering a new word, is what people fear most." If you find yourself in this position, quailing on the threshold of something new, take heart, for you are not alone in your fear. Be inspired by the knowledge that others have conquered fears before you. Venture bravely into the unknown.

Dostoyevsky's words are relevant to all age groups but are increasingly even more apt for children.

Fear and anxiety is not uncommon in children especially with the start of a new school year (as mentioned in the article below)

http://www.webmd.com/anxiety-panic/features/school-stress-anxiety-children

Here are five suggestions for parents to help their child deal with fears and anxieties:

1. Address fear and anxiety - Sometimes children are afraid of situations or objects that adults don't find threatening. Encourage your child to face his or her fears and not run away from it. They need to be reminded that, "What you resist, persists." Instead of resisting the problem, acknowledge it's presence and label the fear. If a fear can't be articulated, it can't be conquered. 

2. Analyze the fear - Help your child to identify the trigger or cue for a fear and action that feeds to the fear. Where does it come from? Is it triggered by a specific object/ situation? Additionally, help your child recognize his or her body symptoms and help the child understand the connection between mind and body. Very often, analyzing the fear may loosen it's grip on your child.

3. Don't cater to the fear - Help your child by taking their fears seriously and by encouraging him or her to talk about his or her feelings. But do not cater to their fears lest they will be reinforced. 

4 Empower children with coping mechanisms - Brain storm with your child to see what calms him or her. Try out various methods to cope such as deep breathing, guided imagery, visualization meditation, progressive muscle relaxation, a silent walk to introspect. Train your child in positive self talk so that he or she feels empowered to take control of the situations life brings along.

5. Build self confidence and esteem. - Do not solve the problem for your child. Instead, validate your child's emotions, understand and empathize with your child's experience and help your child to problem solve. Encourage your child to act in spite of the fear and take it as a challenge for personal growth. All along this journey, remind your child that you've got his or back and be your child's biggest cheerleader. 

The key is to help your child face his or hear fears. As Robin Sharma said, "The fears we don't face become our limits." Let's aim for a limitless world for our children.

Introducing Meditation to Children

“If every 8 year old is taught meditation, we will eliminate violence from this world within one generation.”

- Dalai Lama

Children are natural meditators. It is often easier for them to connect to their original state of peace, love and happiness. But it takes practice and time to get into that natural state of positivity and serenity. Continue with small steps because eventually these small steps, on a regular basis, will lead to enormous results i.e a child who is emotionally and mentally healthy, happy and calm.

Here are a few tips: 

Create a quiet place just for meditation

This can be a room if you have a spare room or a corner in your bedroom or lounge room. You might like to decorate this space with some calming pictures, some of your favorite books, plants, and a special chair or cushion or a bean bag to sit on. Keep this space just for meditation. However, this should not stop you from meditating in a natural setting, such as a beach or a bench in the park.

Start out small

Children are usually able to sit for as many minutes as their age e.g., ten minutes for a ten-year-old. However, you can begin with a shorter session - It is ok to even meditate just for two minutes. Sometimes baby steps work best as small goals are more achievable. Eventually, the hope is to make it a life long habit.

Create a routine

Make it a morning habit or a bedtime routine, or both. The morning, is usually the best time to meditate as it sets the tone for the day. As you start your day, so you live your day. Some prefer to relate it to another established daily activity such as brushing your teeth or going to bed. This way meditation gets easily integrated into your routine.

Communicate and encourage

Talk with your children about the way they feel after meditating. Encourage and applaud the changes they notice or point out changes that you notice in their behavior that they might be unaware of. Praising a child for positive behavior will increase the occurrence of such behavior.

Model the behavior

Meditate with your child. This is clearly the most important tip. Often we see that an athlete’s child is good at sports, or that a musician’s child enjoys playing instruments. Yes, genes matter, but what matters more is what the child observes in his house. Children learn by imitating adults. If you are new to meditation, experiment with guided, silent, or mantra meditations. Children love nature so perhaps a few minutes of mindfully listening to “nature music” might work well.

Practice makes progress

Just like any other activity, Meditation gets better with practice. Just like losing 20 pounds requires discipline and persistent effort in the gym, meditation is a workout for the mind, which requires persistency. Each time you sit to practice, it’s a small success, and you are strengthening those neural pathways in your brain. But consistency is more important than intensity. Five minutes of daily meditation is more important than thirty minutes of meditation once a week. So go ahead, start meditating!